I am always inspired by stories of couples that have stayed together in a committed, loving marriage over the course of many years. One I recently heard of was the marriage between Zelmyra and Herbert Fisher, holding the record for the longest standing marriage ever – 86 years and 290 days.

Throughout their marriage, the Fishers lived through some incredibly challenging times including the Great Depression, World War II, and the Civil Rights Movement. During these many years, Zelmyra and Herbert also raised five children and eventually had 10 grandchildren, 9 great-grandchildren, and one great-great-grandchild!

When asked to share the key to their successful relationship, they simply answered that divorce was NEVER an option or even a thought.

“The art of love is largely the art of persistence.” – ALBERT ELLIS

Beautiful stories such as these are rare. It’s encouraging to hear reports of lasting love, but we are unfortunately hearing less and less of these nowadays. And sadly, this is not confined to married couples, but is also true of families, friendships, and church communities. Somewhere along the way we’ve exchanged tenacity with complacency. It seems we’ve replaced the age-old adage “When the going gets tough. the tough get going” with a “this is too hard and I quit” mentality.

But is quitting always the answer? I’m not convinced this is true.

A More Excellent Way

In 1 Corinthians 13, the apostle Paul included a Spirit-inspired, thorough explanation of love, beginning with descriptions of what love is: patient and kind.

This is followed by a longer series of statements detailing what love is not: envious, boastful, proud, self-seeking, easily angered, resentful (record keeping) or spiteful (rejoicing in injustice).

And finally, Paul concludes his loving discourse with several definitive statements detailing what love always does: protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres.

Always is a pretty strong word, wouldn’t you say? There’s certainly no room for wiggle with always, implying repeatedly and constantly. And to be clear, loving consistently in the always mindset will and does require persistence.

Love Requires Persistence

Although the quality of persistence is not specifically mentioned in Paul’s love list, it’s truly the substance providing weight and worth to every other descriptive word. I know this to be true as the always persist and never divorce forever kind of love Paul talks about is dependent upon persistent actions.

Persistency means loving at all times, difficult, hurtful, confusing, and troubled times. Persistency is the commitment to love no matter what and this is precisely how God loves us.

God’s love for us is not based on our worthiness or behavior, rather His love is a reflection of who He is and what He does. He is God and He always, consistently, persistently loves. And this will never change. Just as God is forever, so is His love.

For the mountains may move and the hills disappear, but even then, my faithful love for you will remain. My covenant of blessing will never be broken,” says the Lord, who has mercy on you.
Isaiah 54:10 (NLT)

Persistent Love in Action

Included in Scripture are many inspiring narratives of persistent love in action. However, I would have to say my personal favorite is the account of Ruth and Naomi. In case you’re not familiar with this chronicle, the book of Ruth tells the story of a young and recently widowed Moabite living with her also widowed mother-in-law, Naomi.

After the famine ended, Ruth demonstrated hesed or steadfast love to Naomi by accompanying her back to Bethlehem in search of provision and protection, leaving her homeland of Moab. Unfortunately, life’s hardships had taken their toll on Naomi, and in her hopeless state she requests to be called by a name reflecting the brokenness of her heart.

…call me Mara, for the Almighty has made life very bitter for me. I went away full, but the Lord has brought me home empty.
Ruth 1:20-21 (NLT)

Ruth does not react to Naomi’s bitter disposition but instead serves her by working as a harvester in the grain fields. Eventually Ruth’s integrity and devotion to Naomi earned her favor with the land owner, Boaz, who happens to be her kinsman redeemer. The story finishes on an amazing high note with the marriage of Ruth and Boaz, the birth of their son Obed (included in the lineage of Jesus), and a fully restored Naomi!

This narrative, much like the success story of Zelmyra and Herbert’s marriage of 87 years, ended well. But in order to arrive at these beautiful completions, I guarantee persistence was required and I would suspect lots of it!

While our individual experiences may vastly differ from that of the Fishers and Ruth and Naomi, all stories, including ours, share the commonality of a beginning and an end. However, it’s midway through our story that we are most prone to lose sight of our desired end. This is largely due to the fact that smack-dab in the middle is where real life happens. It’s in the middle that we experience highs and lows, twists and turns, ups and downs, joys and sorrows. And this is precisely the reason persistent love is critical, as sadly, it’s often at the halfway mark we grow weary and are tempted to either leave for a time or quit altogether.

Truths Regarding Persistent Love

Persistent love is from God. It is a perfect love and it is eternal. It is the highest, purest form of love (agape love) and it never ends.

We, as humans, are not capable of loving others persistently. We can only accomplish this through the power of God’s Spirit that lives within us.

Additionally, persistent love waits like the father of the prodigal, rescues like the Good Shepherd, helps like the friends of the paralytic, forgives 70 x 7, sacrifices like Jesus on the cross, and the greatest truth of all, Love never fails (I Corinthians 13:8).

And it is this promise that we need not simply to know, but rather to cling to, rely on, and stand upon. The raw reality is loving others persistently isn’t always easy or natural, instead it’s supernatural. It’s the way God loves us, forever, for always, no matter what, to infinity and beyond, and it’s the very same way God has called us to love one another: consistently, repeatedly, and persistently.

A Final Word of Encouragement

I recognize the commitment to persist in love can at times be painful and hurtful.  This is especially true when our love for others is met with rejection or unappreciation.

I imagine some of you reading this post are currently walking through challenging times in your commitment to love persistently. And if this is true of you, please know that I am sorry and I truly understand.

To be completely honest, my husband and I have been walking through the most emotionally difficult time in our nearly 40 years of marriage, as both of our adult children have chosen to sever relationships with us. It’s heartbreaking, painful, and hurtful. Yet we never give up hoping, believing, and trusting that the God who makes the impossible possible is making a way for us.

He is making a way for you too, my friends. He is the Waymaker. His love never ends and His love never fails. And this is why we must never give up, quit, walk away or cease from loving others persistently.

God bless you my friends!

The persistent love of Jesus is pursuing you and lives in you!

Extend grace to others! If you’ve been encouraged, strengthened, or edified by this week’s post, please consider sharing Grace Notes For You with a friend.

Question of the Week

What’s a practical way you can demonstrate persistent love this week?

Please share your response on the Grace Notes for You Facebook page found here.

Reflection Questions

  1. Begin this time with a prayer of gratitude to God for His persistent love for you.
  2. Reflect upon a time when someone modeled the persistent, consistent love of God to you. Take a moment to pray a prayer of blessing over this individual and perhaps follow this by sending them a thank you note, text, or email.
  3. Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 making note of key words and significant phrases.
  4. Ask the Holy Spirit to give you a fresh revelation of His radical love for you as well as those He has called you to persistently love.

Worship: I encourage you sometime this week to listen to Reckless Love (Official Lyric Video). I guarantee you’ll be blessed if you do.