Loving Difficult People
It’s one thing to love those who are easy to love, and it’s a whole other matter to love people who are quite frankly difficult. While there is no command specific to loving difficult people, still it is implied in God’s greatest commandment. If this were not so, God most certainly would have included an exemption, exception or clause, but He did not. Instead, He simply said, love. Love me first, and then out of the abundance of my outrageous love for you, love others. And yes, this means everyone, even the people in your life who are difficult to love.
A Model to Follow
God knew we’d need some help with this. So, in His grace He sent Jesus to model His love to us. Through Jesus, we can personally experience God’s love, and learn to love others. Included in the gospel accounts of His life, is a thorough and complete manual of what love looks and acts like. Love looks like Jesus. And love acts just as He did, by consistently and continuously extending mercy, compassion, forgiveness and grace to others. And not just to some people, but rather to all people, including difficult people.
A Shift in Perspective
I imagine if we were to compare lists of the difficult people in our lives, our lists would be somewhat similar. Perhaps your list would include a calloused family member, an obnoxious co-worker, a rude neighbor, or maybe a friend that has hurt or betrayed us. Potentially there might be a few others we’d consider including in this list, but for the most part, I would say these are the categories of individuals we deem as being difficult. In striking comparison, however, are just some of the various difficult people Jesus encountered nearly every day of His life, including those who were prideful, hateful, deceitful, angry, rude, mocking, and even murderous. And the crazy thing is, Jesus didn’t even seem to consider these people as difficult. Instead, He saw them for who they were, as people in desperate need of His Father’s love. As I reflect upon this, I am equally humbled, challenged, and my perspective of difficult people begins to shift.
A New Way of Thinking
Jesus certainly made more than a few radical statements during His earthly ministry, yet not for the purpose of drawing attention to Himself, but rather to expose faulty beliefs, challenge the cultural norm, and inspire a new way of thinking. A prime example of one such radical statement is included in His famous Sermon on the Mount as Jesus exhorts His listeners saying, “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, [and] pray for those who abuse you”, (Luke 6:27 ESV).
I can only imagine jaws dropping and heads shaking in unbelief in response to these words. Yet, before anyone could protest or object, Jesus continued by explaining,
“If you only love the lovable, do you expect a pat on the back? Run-of-the-mill sinners do that. If you only help those who help you, do you expect a medal? Garden-variety sinners do that. If you only give for what you hope to get out of it, do you think that’s charity? The stingiest of pawnbrokers does that. [Instead], I tell you, love your enemies. Help and give without expecting a return. You’ll never—I promise—regret it. Live out this God-created identity the way our Father lives toward us, generously and graciously, even when we’re at our worst. Our Father is kind; [so you must also] be kind” (Luke 6:34-36 MSG).
A Few Final Thoughts
In summation, I’d like to share a few final thoughts:
God does not ask or require us to love difficult people or anybody for that matter in our own strength. Instead, He invites us to experience His love, and then to love others in response to love we have received from Him. (John 13:34)
We are equipped to love all people well, including those we find difficult, because God in His mercy, first loved us. (I John 4:19)
The greatest proof of God’s love in us is evidenced in our sincere love for all people, especially those who hurt, oppose or reject us. (John 13:35)
When we choose to love “the difficult”, we are actually choosing to love God. (Matthew 25:40)
And finally, God loved us before we loved Him. He loved us when we were among the most difficult people to love. Yet, He looked beyond what we were to what we could become. And our rightful response to this truly amazing love, is to love others, including those who are difficult to love.
Pray
Father God, thank you for showing me what love looks and acts like, and thank you for empowering me to love others out of the abundance of your great love. Help me, by your Spirit, to love all people, even those who are difficult, with the same unconditional, persistent, consistent, radical love you have for me. Amen
Question of the Week
In what ways does the reality of God loving you at your worst help you to love the difficult people in your life?
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