Earlier this week my beloved aunt, I called her “Auntie”, left this world and a piece of my heart went with her. I was aware that she wouldn’t live much longer due to cancer and kidney failure. At the same time, I wasn’t prepared to hear, “She’s gone.” I know many of you have heard those same shocking words, and I want you to know that I am so sorry for the losses that you each have suffered.

The night she passed was a restless night for me, but I woke to a lovely new day; a reminder that there is beauty in every season, including times of sorrow. It occurred to me that morning if had I never known the love of my aunt, I would not be experiencing loss, and it is for this reason that I am grateful today.

As I was processing and pondering this morning I wondered if I owned any specific items that would serve as a special memento of my aunt’s memory. And then it occurred to me that I do indeed own something very personal that belonged to her. I have her name. My mom named me after my aunt, her older sister, to honor her. As a child, I was referred to as “Little Carol” to distinguish me from my aunt, but it never occurred to me that one day I would be the only Carol in our family. Now that I am, however, I feel privileged to have the name that I do.

In addition to experiencing my aunt’s love and possessing her name, I also have a storehouse of treasured memories beginning from my early childhood that continued on into the present.

I have fond memories of spending the night at my aunt’s house, together with my cousins, and Sunday morning doughnuts for breakfast.

In addition, Christmas Eve celebrations at her home were a yearly tradition that I always looked forward to. And then there was summer time fun in her pool, as well as many memorable day trips to the lake, zoo, and amusement parks together with my cousins.

When I was 14, the majority of our family migrated from New Jersey to South Florida, and for three years I lived in a duplex together with my family and my aunt, uncle, and cousins, meaning I spent a lot of time with my aunt. Sometimes I would sit with her in the afternoons and watch Wheel of Fortune, while she simultaneously ate popcorn. She was excellent at this game as she was at Scrabble, another game I used to love to play with her.

Eventually I left for college and married, but I still stayed in close touch with my aunt. She cheered me on in my accomplishments and she always told me she was proud of me and was praying for me. She attended my recitals when they were local, hosted my bridal shower, and somehow she knew before we had told anyone that my husband and I were pregnant after many years of infertility. She even presented me with a baby present that she had purchased in advance when I shared the news with her.

Throughout her life my aunt had undergone more than her fair share of health challenges, but through them all she adjusted and found reasons for gratitude. She never allowed her circumstances to determine her joy level. She consistently responded positively to life’s challenges including the death of my uncle who she was married to for 40 years.

Two years ago my aunt turned 80 years old and my cousins hosted a grand event in her honor. She looked stunning on this special evening, as family and gathered together in attendance. I can’t tell you how amazingly glad I was present, as just months after this lovely celebration, she was diagnosed with cancer.

In the realization that her quality of life would be greatly impacted, she opted against radical surgery and aggressive chemotherapy. To her credit, and by God’s grace, she did actually defy the odds and live longer than expected.

In the final stages of her life, she spent the majority of her time in either her bed, a chair, or at dialysis. Her greatest joy was seeing her family, and she was counting down the days to the Thanksgiving holiday with extended family.

One week before my aunt passed, my husband and I purchased plane tickets to visit with her in December. I was so looking forward to this and so was she. Although my heart is sad that I missed this time, as it most likely would have been my final goodbye, hug, laugh and Scrabble game with her, I know God is Sovereign. His timing is purposeful, His will was accomplished, and He is Good.

Now my aunt is no longer suffering or in pain. She is whole: body, soul, and spirit. The joy she knew on earth can not even compare to the joy she now knows in heaven. The realization of where she is; in heaven with Jesus, his angels and the saints, brings me great peace, and it is for this final reason, I am grateful.

My friend, if you’ve been encouraged, strengthened, or edified by this week’s post, please consider sharing Grace Notes For You (www.gracenotesforyou.com) with a friend.

 

For Reflection

  • Why do you think it is critical to press into gratitude in times of sorrow?
  • Psalm 34:18 declares, The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed (NLT). In what personal and practical ways have you experienced God’s presence with you during times of sorrow?
  • How does the reality that God will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5) comfort you in seasons of loss?
  • Spend the remainder of your time reflecting on people that you love that have passed. Anchor your heart with gratitude for the time you had with these treasured individuals.

Be blessed!