Busting the Mom Myth
God loves variety. If He didn’t, He wouldn’t have made the world with an array of species and kinds. Nor would He have created different races of people with individual personalities and various giftings. Yet He did, and when He did, He called everything He made, good. And this is true for all women, including the unique, one-of-a-kind women we call moms.
In case you hadn’t noticed, moms are not all alike, nor should they be. In fact, there are numerous kinds of moms, including biological, surrogate, adoptive, foster, spiritual, married, divorced, single and widowed. Additionally, some moms work; others stay home. Some love to cook; others do not. And further, some homeschool, while others wait at bus stops, drive through carlines, and help with homework. The common factor for each of these women is not that they are alike, but that they are in fact all moms. Having shared this, I will now move on to uncover what I perceive as “mom myths.”
Myth #1: Moms are perfect.
Are you laughing? If not, you should be. Because the truth is there are not now, nor has there ever been, nor will there ever be any perfect moms. Perfection is way too high a standard for anyone, including moms to live up to. In fact, the list of virtues describing the woman in Proverbs 31 is a composite representing many women, rather than one woman. And clearly, no one women, not even a “super mom” embodies of all these character traits.
I share this only as I think sometimes we have unrealistic expectations for mothers. And for those of us who are moms, about to become moms, or aspiring to be moms, it’s possible we also have unrealistic expectations for ourselves. The truth is, only God, not any person, is perfect, superseding our greatest expectation. This is critical to understand, and not just as it relates to mothers, but rather for and in every relationship.
Myth #2: The Bible is an instructional guide for moms.
This is not true. Instead, the Bible is the story of God, His plan for humanity, and His amazing love for all people. While the Bible does include wisdom verses regarding godly parenting, there are no instructions exclusive to moms. Instead, the Bible teaches the critical importance for all people, moms included, to cultivate and maintain a vibrant, intimate relationship with God. The Bible teaches what makes any person effective in all relationships is his/her love for, dependence on, and faith in God. Because of this, it is highly critical for moms, and all believers for that matter, to actively pursue an abiding, vibrant relationship with God, and to prioritize this relationship above all others.
Myth #3: God’s will is for all women to become mothers.
If this were true, then how do we explain the many godly women throughout biblical and world history, including Mother Theresa, who have never had children? And the same is true for the many godly men who have never fathered a child, including the apostle, Paul! Yes, children are a blessing from God, and yes, He commanded fruitfulness and multiplication over creation. But He also graces many lovely women to be motherless, as well as single, yet still just as fulfilled and blessed! On a personal note, I know of many, and am friends with several, amazing women of God who are either motherless, single, or both, and yet are thriving and content.
Myth #4: A mother’s value is in her role as mom.
This is not only false, but also anti-biblical. The Bible is clear in stating that all people are highly valuable to God. Yet, not for what they do, but far more significantly, for who they are. From a biblical perspective, a mom's value is not defined by her mothering role, rather by her relationship with God. While motherhood is a worthy calling, and a significant role that deserves our respect, a mom’s true and ultimate value comes from her identity as a child of God. As children, young or old, we need to appreciate and affirm the godly character we witness in our moms. And as moms we must lead by example and do the same for our children.
So perhaps today consider these myths and any others that come to mind. Then seek God in prayer and in His Word, asking Him to reveal truth to you. Additionally, spend time in sincere gratitude for the mom, or mother figure God has given you, as well as the other women He has sovereignly placed in your life to encourage, inspire, challenge, disciple, and shape you.
Charm is deceptive and beauty disappears, but [all women, moms or not] who honor the Lord should be praised. (Proverbs 31:30 GNT)
Pray
Father God, thank you for the amazing, godly women, including moms, grandmothers, aunts, cousins, spiritual mentors and friends you have placed in my life. These women point me to you and remind me I am loved. I praise you for these ladies, and I ask you to bless them so very much. In Jesus’ Name, amen.
Reflect
How has busting mom myths helped you appreciate your own mom, yourself as a mom, and other moms in your life?
Encourage others with your response to this week’s question HERE!